


Three Whiskeys to Break the Fall

by august_the_real, pene



Category: Lie to Me (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-11
Updated: 2010-07-11
Packaged: 2017-10-11 03:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/108086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/august_the_real/pseuds/august_the_real, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pene/pseuds/pene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was in her space, always shifting in and out of her space.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Whiskeys to Break the Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Three Whiskeys To Break the Fall  
> by pene and unwinding  
> Thanks to intl_princess for awesome editing.  
> Spoilers through to season two. No copyright infringement intended.

**

After she and Alec lost Sophie, Gillian found herself in a bar after work. Alec was home but she longed for noise and drink. More, she longed to sit with people who weren't also grieving. To be away from the newly painted room with the cot and the toys.

Three whiskeys later, Cal appeared beside her. He leaned against the bar.

"Scotch and dry," he told the barkeep without looking.

"You all right, Foster?" he said. He leaned sideways a little to press his hand into her shoulder. "Is there something I can do, love?" he asked.

He was in her space, always shifting in and out of her space. And right now he looked fierce and unbreakable, something to fuel her anger, something that did not reflect her grief.

"Damn it," she said as she tangled her fingers in his.

She looked at him. "Damn it." She kissed him before she could change her mind; before she could think of the empty house and Alec silent in it, waiting.

"Take me home, Cal" she said. He knew where she meant. In his bed she was brittle and sad, but underneath that she hummed in the places he touched her. Afterwards he patted her back as she pressed her teeth into his shoulder and sobbed. "I know, love, I know," he said.

Later, she dressed in silence. Damn it, she thought.

"I won't talk about this," he said as she left.

She looked at him through the doorway.

"Yeah, you knew that," he said.

She said, "Sometimes it's good to hear the things you already know."

"You and Alec will be okay," he offered. They both knew it was a lie.

She took a cab back to her husband and her house and the things that were worlds from Cal Lightman and the lightning that flickered in her brain when he looked at her.

**  
They'd been business partners for a year and known each other longer. Gillian expected the gentle touch between her shoulder blades, the light bump of his shoulder against her. She was accustomed to Cal's hand on hers in moments of stress.

But now she'd slept with him. Now she had flashes of his face above her in the dark. So she stepped back. When they were alone in her office she placed her desk between them. In crowds she moved away. It wasn't effective. He seemed oblivious to her in this as he never had in other things. He kept to his word and didn't speak about it; she couldn't say anything because she didn't want him to read her face as she spoke.

It was one of the complexities of working with Cal, feeling he knew what she desired before she did.

**

A part of her, a proud part of her, of didn't want to admit that her marriage was over. Not in this way. She tells people she is - they are - "Deception Experts", so she should have known better. She should have seen through Alec's lies.

That part of her, that proud part of her, didn't want to talk to Cal about it either.

Leaving, she packed some clothes and toiletries. Alec hovered restless in the lounge. At one point he walked into the room and said, "Look I'll get sorted, it's nothing."

She didn't stop to look up. He'd already said, "I'm sorry." He didn't apologize again.

Truth is even before she knew it all, she also knew she no longer loved Alec. She kept away from him; stayed late at the office or, sent home, focused on her laptop as he conspicuously prepared for bed. In their bed she curled on one side and feigned sleep. She thought she was staying because she'd promised to, because she was supposed to, because he was a good man. The reality was humiliating but it was also a relief.

She told herself it wasn't as though she and Cal talked about everything. Working together they had a kind of wordless accord. Cal would tilt his head and Gillian would take over questioning. He'd take a breath and she'd close the deal. She knew when to take on a suspect; when to walk away; when to get Emily on the phone. He knew when she was on to something and he knew when to leave her to sift through motives.

Volumes went unspoken between them. For a day she convinced herself that this remained the same.

But she never lied to him. So when he asked she said, "Alec and I are separating. I'm moving out." Of course, he already knew.

**

She didn't say anything to Cal when everything of hers was finally out of the house that was now Alec's alone. She didn't tell Cal about the new apartment and the boxes lined up in the hallway. She didn't want him to think it had anything to do with him which, of course, it did.

She prepared a speech in her head but he simply handed her a bottle of champagne, wrapped in ribbons and kept walking.

**

Her birthday came two weeks after she left. She woke alone and stretched herself out in the silent apartment.

"Happy Birthday to me," she said aloud.

Alec, being Alec, would have bought her gift months earlier. Whatever he did, he always expected her to stay. She thought of him holding some suitable perfume or earrings, uncertain whether to throw it away.

In the office, there was cake and birthday songs. Cal scrunched his face to look at her as she blew out the candles. She didn't see him for the rest of the day.

That night, he was waiting for her on the steps leading up to her apartment. He was in her space, always shifting in and out of her space.

"What are you doing here?"

He pointed to the bag in front of him. He pulled out a bottle of Highland Park and two red mugs. "Happy Birthday, love."

He was in her space, always shifting in and out of her space. She drank out of her red mug and then took his hand, pulled him up, and led him into her apartment.


End file.
